Sep 30, 2008


from blogging. The last few days, well actually since Friday night I have been tending to sick kids again. Not sure what in the world is going on but Friday night lets just say I had to change my clothes twice. The babies as we call them, even though they are 4 1/2 yrs old, one right after the other got sick all over me! If there is anything I can't stand its drool and a close second is the contents of a sick stomach! Specially if its all over me!

So as the weekend progressed, Sunday arrived and I was ready to teach the kids in children's church....but Sara was still weak from being sick and Eli was still very sick, not keeping anything down. "Poor little fella," as Sara says. Naturally Momma ends up with it too. YUCK! Thankfully I just had an upset stomach for 24 hours. But Eli, is still sick. We took him to the doctor today just to make sure there was no dehydration going on. Thankfully he is doing better tonight. Keeping everything in and was able to eat a few chips with his flat sprite. Which is great! The little guy lost 4 lbs in 5 days. Not good!

Anyway, during this time I have been busy searching for pictures to create a picture story board for Kristofer. A picture story board basically tells him what happens when and gives him a schedule. Our afternoons are the toughest around here so the story board I am hoping will give us a bit less craziness. Last night I had Kristofer help me put the pictures in order of what he wants to do. I made only one correction for time after homework. He chose the spot to hang it as well.
Today was the first day of using it fully and it went great! When he began to have a bit of a meltdown I just said, "Go look at the story board!" He came back said, "ok home work is next!" Easiest day of doing homework we have had! That and I have incorporated the trampoline into out homework time. He does one or two problems and then gets to jump. It gives him the outlet he needs and he comes back and sits down to do the next couple of problems. It's been great doing it this way!

Today Kristofer was having problems with everyone being near him. So he put on this baseball helmet and said, "I am protected from the evil invaders!" I guess that is how he sees all his sibs when they are in his personal invaders! I had to take the pictures of him, he was just to funny as he was saying these things.

God is so good. No matter what comes my way I will praise Him!

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give


I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne.

Sep 27, 2008

Diagnosis Given

Yesterday was the big day for our family. We finally have clarity with Kristofer.
Not really a surprise, we have suspected it for a while now. But the reality of it is overwhelming. Has it changed anything NO! We just now have a clear understanding as to why Kristofer is the way he is. Having the diagnosis will help in school. It gives us a place to start. Did I want this diagnosis, no - not at all. But it does validate all of my thoughts and feelings about what we have been dealing with. In our case I can honestly say that I DO NOT feel that it was caused by vaccines. The signs were there before he ever had the MMR vaccination. Our pediatrician at the time just was not, hmmmm, how to put this nicely....uhm aware of and did not listen to us. I'll admit that I did not push hard about it till he was 3 and we really started seeing how different Kris was from other children. Up until that point we just kept thinking it was his ears.
It's been a long road to get to this point. His behavior in the beginning was blamed on the never ending ear infections he had. Then one summer right after he had turned three our dear friends, Mike and Marty Short, came to visit us. They had just been given the diagnosis of autism with their oldest child. We asked them to watch Kristofer and tell us what they thought. Honestly, Marty had told me to read "The Out of Sync Child" about Sensory Process Disorder. I did but only so I could understand a little bit of what her son was dealing with. I refused to accept that Kristofer was dealing with those same issues that spring. But by summer and listening to what they had to say, listening to Mike (who is a special ed teacher) we decided to start pushing for help. When I approached our pediatrician I told her everything I knew at the time about SPD. She looked like a deer in headlights! No kidding here. She had never heard of it, but I continued to press for a referral. She sent us to a Behavioral Therapist. We started "play therapy" where the therapist worked on behavior modification. I kept asking her if she thought he was autistic but I never would get a straight answer. She referred Kris for occupational and speech therapies. So we started those. We began to see big changes in him. The behavioral therapy honestly helped us more than him, teaching us how to deal with and redirect his behavior.
When Kris was four and had been in therapy for a year I asked the therapists to be honest with me about whether he was autistic or not. They said they weren't sure but he did show signs and it could just be the SPD he was dealing with. So we enrolled him into pre-K at the therapy center. That fall we accepted the pastorate here in Illinois. Before moving Kristofer came down with a terrible ear infection. So we headed to the doctor, during that visit I was told they had finally (after a year) read the reports they had been sent from the OT, Speech and Behavioral Therapists. She was going to refer him to a pediatric specialist to be evaluated for possible autism. But we would never have been able to do it because we were moving in two weeks. The wait to see this specific doctor was 3-6 months. So we moved to IL, got Kristfoer enrolled into pre-K through the school since he had an IEP already. We began asking questions about having him evaluated. The school was reluctant because they were not seeing issues with him in Kindergarten. He was just a quiet boy, who stayed to himself. We knew different, something was amiss with our little guy.
So at the end of the school year after finding a family doctor that agreed with us, we started the process of finding out what exactly he has been dealing with. We truly believe God placed us in IL not only for ministry but also specifically for Kristofer. SIU has a wonderful research program that is connected to the Autism Program of Illinois. The center offers therapy services as well as a resource room for parents; with books, videos, computer programs that can help you create a variety tools to work with your child. For this I am so grateful to be living here in IL! So now that we have clarity and have given the full report to those that needed it in the school system, we feel like now we have the foundation on which to base his therapies and other helps at school on. We are not devastated by this diagnosis. Relieved but still overwhelmed with all the thoughts we have about Kristofer' future. We know God has a plan for his life. His Word tells us that, "He who began a ood work in you is faithful to complete it." God does not make mistakes, everything about God is perfect and Kristofer is one of His masterpieces that he is still working in and through. So we place our trust in a BIG GOD who has a plan for him and us.

I have to publicly say thank-you to all of my friends, family and "sistas -ya know who ya are!" for all the encouraging words yesterday and the last few weeks. It's nice to know we have a support system out there standing with us and praying for Kristofer and us.

Sep 25, 2008

History of the Woman's Fight to Vote

My dear sister-n-law, Michele, sent this to me. I have no idea who wrote it but it is all true and every woman in the USA had better wake up and read this! I had never heard of any of this when I was in high school or even in college. Its very interesting. Women, out there, regardless of where you stand politically you are blessed to live here in the USA and you need to get out and VOTE on Nov. 4th.

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago. nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote. Remember, it was not until 1920that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote. The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed .

(Lucy Burns)

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.' They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

(Dora Lewis)
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cell mate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.

(Alice Paul)

When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory.
Some women won't vote this year because ~ why, exactly?

We have carpool duties?

We have to get to work?

Our vote doesn't matter?

It's raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder. All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote.
Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient. My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was - with herself. 'One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said. 'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather.

I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order. It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized.

And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy. The doctor admonished the men:

'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know. We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party - remember to vote. History is being made.

Read more:

Sep 23, 2008

Guest Blog

~This is from an email I received from a friend who received it from the SPD Network. It's a great message! ENJOY!~

Over the years, I have heard numerous versions of a charming but insightful story about a child whose hand became stuck inside a priceless vase. All attempts to remove the little hand proved fruitless, until finally the expensive vase had to be smashed. When the unhurt hand emerged from the shards of pottery, everyone gathered around could see that inside a tiny fist, the child was proudly clutching a one-cent coin! Obviously, the child's desire to hang onto that insignificant coin came at tremendous expense, as the irreplaceable, expensive vase was sacrificed for it.

Do we sometimes hang onto insignificant ideas, feelings, objects, relationships, beliefs, or possessions? At what cost? I'm not talking about the 'big stuff'—our values, ideals, and important relationships, which, like the vase, we would sacrifice only if absolutely necessary (or never). I'm talking about the things that may appear priceless to us, as the penny did to the child, but which have no real value in the greater scheme of things. Sometimes we hold so tightly to petty feelings, grudges, insistence on doing things our own way, our egos, replaceable possessions, 'rights,' and relationships, at tremendous cost to other people, to our ability to be successful, and to our own integrity.

Perhaps we can gain some perspective by asking ourselves, 'Is this like a valuable vase or a one-cent coin?' We might ponder this thought as we enter an IEP meeting, work to determine appropriate discipline for a child, interact with someone who has hurt our feelings, deal with a difficult colleague, or find ourselves participating in a heated discussion.

What is the cost of holding on? Would we damage a relationship, the feelings of another person, an opportunity for employment or progress in the classroom, fora 'one-cent coin?' Do we have a 'mite' which we are holding onto too strongly?

Sometimes opening our tightly clutched hand to examine our penny (our thoughts,beliefs, feelings, ideas, etc.) can save both the penny AND the precious vase! That's the intent of the process of social understanding; to examine all sides of an issue and proceed in a way that is hopefully effective for everyone!

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding www.thegraycenter.

For Every Mountain!

For Every Mountain - Karen Wheaton

Sep 22, 2008

They happen....

miracles that is! Yes! YES! YES! This afternoon was the first afternoon in over 10 days that Kristofer only had one meltdown and I know why and for what reason! YAHOO!
We have endured 10 long days of multiple meltdowns and I would say 90% of them we had no idea why or what set them off. Can I sigh a sigh of relief? Maybe...hoping...waiting for the break through...pushing through for the break through....need the break through....

For a fantastic teaching on The Breaking Point check out is written by Tara Sloan. She shared this at the Unstoppable is big, it was huge and it made a gigantic impact on my life and still is!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Breaking Point By Tara Sloan

The Breaking Point - A few months ago I began to hear the Lord speak to me about Unstoppable. Of course I listened, took note and continued to seek Him for direction. As the conference came closer and closer, I began to sense an extreme urgency. I have learned that whenever that happens, God is trying to get my undivided attention. So, I begin to press in. As I sought the Lord, I heard Him say, “Tara, there are women who will be at Unstoppable who are currently at their breaking point. They are at a crossroads that could potentially paralyze them. My heart is that they not be broken and crippled by what they have been facing but that they be propelled through it by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Tonight, we are going to take a candid look at the lives of three women who made entirely different choices. One of them ended up paralyzed, another, propelled and the last one lost the most… all of them at the breaking point. I am a HUGE believer in destiny. God has a strategic plan for each and every one of us. I know this and believe it with every fiber of my being. However, there are still times in every one of our lives when circumstances, situations, people well intentioned… or not will force us to the very place where we have no idea whether or not we can go on. I am going to begin reading in 2 Samuel, chapter 13:1-20… I am reading from The Message translation… (I won't post because of space... so turn there and read...)

Many of you know WHO you are, like Tamar, you KNOW who your daddy is- but more than that you can also identify with the shame, pain, fear, rejection and betrayal Tamar experienced. People who promised they’d never leave, they left, promises made become promises broken, and the days and nights you prayed, labored, laid awake and poured into people are thrown at your feet in a heap. It leaves you feeling used, violated, just like Tamar. Yet look at what she did, after Amnon raped her, he told her to go away, yet we’re talking about a woman here. She’s thinking, “Oh my goodness, he’s just going to use me up and throw me out? Oh no, he can’t do that to me” She began to tell him how she felt, begging, pleading… and he had her PHYSICALLY removed. They put her out and BOLTED the door. I can just see her, as she’s being drug out, yelling and screaming, then the door is shut and locked as she is lying on the ground sobbing, no dignity left, beating on the door, “Amnon, you can’t do this to me! Amnon! Amnon, don’t leave me like this!” Tamar deserved better treatment as an Israelite. Tamar deserved better treatment as a relative. Tamar deserved better treatment as a sister. Tamar deserved better treatment as a princess. Despite all this, Amnon spitefully treats Tamar as this woman. Then after being rejected again by being ignored, Tamar broke. She ripped her gown off, her gown signifying her identity, her status and she heaped ashes upon her head symbolizing the shame of hat she had just encountered. She covered her head and headed home where she ran into her brother Absalom who knew exactly what had occurred as we see in verse 20… READ VERSE 20… Absalom tried to comfort Tamar by saying that she “should not take it to heart”.

These are hollow words indeed, for she has been violated by her brother, and the cultural context of that time dictated that her future was irreparably altered. I know Absalom meant well, but come on! That’s like putting a band aid on a broken arm! This woman was SO burdened by what she was carrying that she stripped herself of her identity. She was broken, distraught, and now wore her shame upon her head. Her brother knew by looking at her- and yet helped her cover it as did her father, at the time anyway. What gets me about the LACK of what David and Absalom did is just that- they didn’t do ANYTHING… by doing this they let Tamar continue to be broken, paralyzed by the violation committed against her by someone who supposedly loved her no less! They could have helped silence her scream, “Don’t leave me like this! Absalom! Amnon! Daddy! God! Somebody help me!”

I wonder how many of you in this room have had those closest to you ignore the cry of your pain. Unfortunately, that is Tamar’s story. Her hopes for children and her own home were shattered. At that point, the point I call the “breaking point,” Tamar was faced with a decision. Verse 20 says she lived in Absalom’s house a desolate woman. However, her cry, her scream is still living. Can you hear it? Perhaps it is YOUR cry tonight. The circumstances, pain and violations committed against you have you at the breaking point that threatens to paralyze you and keep you locked up. As you examine yourself tonight, are there circumstances, secrets, deep areas in your life threatening to paralyze as you face the breaking point tonight? (Someone holding their head in their hands saying, “I just want to get through this weekend, go home and quit… it is just too much to bear…) Before you give in, remember, what you have gone through doesn’t have to paralyze you… it can propel you… if you don’t give up… God desires to turn your setback into a comeback! The pain you are feeling is pain with a purpose. He isn’t ignoring your pain, He hasn’t forgotten you, He desires to turn your pain into power!

I told you we would explore three women… I just gave you one scenario, what paralysis will bring you, now let’s look at a woman who used the adversity she faced to propel her… Turn to Luke, chapter 7. Beginning in verse 36… (READ THROUGH VERSE 50) Mary was known as a sinner. When she walked into the room her every move, past, present and future was discussed among whispers. Have you ever walked into a room like that? If that isn’t a breaking point, goodness! Tell me what is! Mary was tired of living with the pain, she was desperate to move forward. So she found the most valued thing she owned, it represented her past, present and future. And it cost her something… a decision to face her accusers, confront her past, challenge religion and hope for a future. I can just see her standing at the threshold of the door, gathering the courage to go in. But that was not her breaking point. Her breaking point was in the "breaking of her box." That was HER box. She didn't keep hers at home and run into Neimen Marcus for a knock off that would serve the purpose. No, she took what was most precious to her, what had cost her so much, her security, what meant everything in the world to her and she broke it open and poured it out. As we all know, Mary’s box held a costly perfume, BUT what she did with it represented much more than what it contained. Mary did not just open her box and pour out a measure of what it held. Instead she broke it open. A broken vessel can no longer retain its contents. It is powerless to withhold; therefore, it freely spills out all that is within it.

This is the purpose of the breaking. It is not so God can take pleasure in our pain. No! The pain is part of the process when face the breaking point, but it is not the purpose. The goal is the fragrance, the sweet aroma that fills the air...and the nostrils of God. As she poured the oil from the box, a beautiful fragrance filled the room. It changed the atmosphere. Being at the feet of Jesus, of your Daddy God changes things. It looks religion in the face and dares it to judge. It will change rules, regulations and laws for your behalf. I just love the fact that she broke HER box. In her own way, she said the same thing Tamar said… “Jesus, don’t leave me like this! Help me!” Her actions relinquished any control she had. You see, if she had just opened the box and poured a measure that she thought was sufficient she could also put the top back on. But, in the breaking of the box, there is a reckless abandonment that cried, "It is all yours Jesus. I'm giving it all to you. I am breaking my box open as a sacrifice to you. Take it all! My pain, my fear, regret; take my future, my potential and my promise… take it all…"

When this time of worship occurs at the Breaking Point, something happens. Our heart's cry deviates from, "What about what happened to me?" to "How I can use what has happened to me for You Lord? Here is what I have. I break it open before You. It's no use to me unless it is mixed with Your presence." You see ladies, we need to stop asking God, “Why did this happen to me?” and begin asking God, “Why did I overcome it?” See, I am not big on surviving anymore, I don’t want to be a survivor, I want to be an over comer! The word survive means, to remain alive or in existence… well that can mean you are barely hanging on through life support… BUT the word overcome means to conquer, to gain mastery over or win. Just because you went through it does not mean you are defined by it! When they come and say, “Whew, they barely made it through that church split, but they survived…” Something ought to rise up in you say, “Oh no… we didn’t survive anything… we OVERCAME!” We conquered the enemy at the breaking point! We won!

There is a choice tonight for those of you who find yourselves at the “breaking point.” There are some of you who just don’t think it is worth it anymore and you are tempted to hold on to whatever it is you have locked up in your box. For some of you it is pain, fear of being rejected again, or a shameful past that is threatening to paralyze you. For others, it is brokenness, failed dreams, or unfulfilled dreams. Remember Tamar? Absalom’s house became her alabaster box. It held the potential, pain, promise, and shame of this woman. When she failed to “break out the box” she remained a victim, she remained a person of untapped potential.

These things were as costly as the oil in Mary’s box. If broken up and given to God, her future would have been much different. Or will you be like Mary tonight, will your cry at the breaking point propel you though it by the power of the Holy Spirit. You may still have to deal with stuff, because you can do everything right and still have people do you wrong or circumstances knock you off your feet! Being wounded is a temporary event but healing is a process. Just because you’ve been treated badly doesn’t mean you have to curl up and die!

Psalm 23 tells us that He is the restorer of our soul! Mary was ridiculed as she broke open her box and with that decision, her life and the atmosphere she was in was completely changed! Think about it… are you willing to break that box tonight? There are Tamar’s in this room tonight… desperately wanting to be like Mary. They are screaming, some are whispering for lack of strength, “Don’t leave me like this… Somebody help me…” Tonight we all have a choice to break open our box like Mary or remained locked up like Tamar… but there are some of you even beyond that point… there is more woman I want to present to you tonight… please turn to Judges 19, we’ll begin with verse 22 and read through verse 27.

“And her hand was on the door and she was laying on the threshold.” She went through abuse all night, suffered the pain and the sacrifice and after they let her go she crawled through the pain and the difficulty of what she just endured and she got to the door and died. There are many in this room today that the process has been so painful and abusive that now that an effective door is open in front of you, you just don’t have the strength to push through. The Lord has spoken to me and said, “Tell them not to extend all they have to get to this point only to die on the threshold. You have been through too much.” Don’t let the pain of the process cause you to quit and forfeit your destiny. I know it has been a long painful night but morning is on the way and if you can press through the night your new day is about to begin.
Don’t die on the threshold, don’t die at your breaking point…
The Lord hears your cries tonight… h
e sees your struggle to be like Mary, not one of us wants to be paralyzed, or die on the threshold…
but the pain is sometimes so hard to bear alone…
some days are down right miracles that we ever got through them…
tonight, this altar represents the breaking point…
whatever yours may be…
At the breaking point, hold on…
at the breaking point…
don’t paralyze your potential by shutting down…
at the breaking point, lay it all down…
every bit of pain,
every broken promise,
every disappointment,
and give them to the Father…
it is at the breaking point…
• My ENEMIES will become my TEACHERS
• My MISTAKES will become my WISDOM

And as it says in the Message translation in Job 8:7, “Even though you're not much right now, you'll end up better than ever."

The BEST IS yet to come!

I pray that this teaching by Tara minister to you were ever you are in what ever circumstance you may be in! Hold on through the night your morning is on the way...

Lord, tonight I am holding on through the night, through this fight through this week of uncertainty with our son, through this month of financial breaking, through this year of brokenness and holding fast to You! Holding for the sunrise, holding on for clarity, holding on for direction, holding on for financial break through, holding on for complete healing from depression to healing of my knees. I am holding fast and strong to You, I am clinging on to the hem of Your garment Jesus!

How do I spell relief...

JESUS & SCHOOL! Yes in that order! Without Jesus by my side I am not sure I would know how to handle everything our family is going through with Kristofer. I spent an hour and a half on the phone with the OT this morning. Thank goodness that we have an OT that loves my Kristofer and sees the potential that we see in him. She is not ready to throw in the towel and for that I am so grateful! I am also grateful that she is a Christian and prays for him. She has started a new routine with him today...starting with all kinds of sensory input and sensory games. We are praying that this will make a huge difference for him. She cares so much for him that she made a way to spend an hour with him on Monday and Wed mornings instead of the 30 mins she had been spending. She is ready to stand next to us and fight for and with him through this really rough patch! YAY! I love having the support and not just verbal support from people at school that work with our son! She is willing to do what ever is needed. Right now we are praying that all the intervention she is instilling in to his day at school that it will make it easier as he goes through this rough time. If things for some reason get worse then we have a plan for that too. We are praying we won't have to go that direction. I am just glad we have some direction for him right now.
S C H O O L...does spell relief. It may sound terrible but I am so glad that I have at least 2 1/2 hours a day that all four kids are at school out of the house. It gives me time to think, pray and get a few things done that need to be done when they are not here. Momma's need alone time and I take that time for me to spend with God, with Sean (when he isnt sleeping) and time to just be quiet. Lately I have spent it talking with teachers but this week I am hoping to really concentrate on getting this in order around here so that when all 4 are home and can fully concentrate on Kristofer to help him work through what ever issues he is dealing with and the others as they need my help.

Sep 21, 2008

Whip Cream Facial

What I do for my kids at church! LOL! They absolutely loved the fact that I was covered in whip cream! I promised the kids if we raised at least $100 for BGMC that I would eat pie! Well we raised over $200 and even exceeded our annual goal for BGMC and we still have 3 months till the end of the year! I have included a few pictures of Children's church this morning. We were pretending to be in the boat that Paul was in during the storm....we were talking about faith.

Kristofer was very upset that he didn't get to put the pie in my face SO...I was blessed again with a 2nd whip cream facial...Hey that would be a great spa treatment...and it tastes great too! LOL!

Sep 20, 2008

Rockin' 4 Jesus!

This afternoon the Children's Ministry hosted a Rockin' 4 Jesus (rock-a-thon) to raise funds for BGMC. BGMC stands for Boys and Girls Missionary Challenge. Basically BGMC helps send a variety of materials for the missionaries through the Assemblies of God. We had 9 kids ages 4 -10 rockin' away for three hours. We took a short break for some yummy pizza from Papa Murphy's pizza. These kids had a blast. During part of the rocking time we took advantage of having them all there and practiced our songs with the bells. They are getting really good with them...or maybe I should say I am getting better at flipping those pages so they know what to do! Either way fun was had by everyone!

A HUGE THANK YOU goes out to Theresa Lambert, Jimmy Lambert and Pastor Sean ( my honey ) for helping me pull this event off. Without their help chaos would have reigned and I would have lost my sanity! With the pledges and money already brought in our kids raised $115 as of right now all to help our missionaries! I am SO PROUD of all of these kiddos!

SO enjoy the pictures! Tomorrow I will be eating pie so to speak...tune in tomorrow afternoon some time I will be sure to post some fun pictures of this... Just wait and see what I am about to endure! LOL!

My two little servants in training! LOL! Actually these two resemble two of my diaper! They love to help vaccume at church...too bad they don't like to at home!

Sep 19, 2008


Let me say that again... SIGH!!! What a week! A very long week! I would like to say it was a glorious, victorious whopper of a week. But actually I feel a bit beaten up! I hate it when everything seems to be going well and WHAM! you get a good swift kick to the gut. You know the kind...the kind that either knocks you off your feet, knocks the wind out of you or both!
Not sure which I got this week but it sure was a nasty hit. Let me explain because I haven't actually blogged about it. This week out of no where we get a note from the teacher. Now last week when I talked to the teacher she just said Kristofer gets frustrated sometimes. So the letter we got this week was a huge hit. It basically said, that he has not only been getting frustrated but having huge meltdowns and crying episodes. He never did this last year or not that we were ever told. So what is a momma to do...go to bat for my kiddo. I go in and talk with the teacher the next day after I called his OT who gave me her home number in case of situations like these. Then later the same day I talked with the teacher some more and then talked with Kristofer's resource aide that works with him daily as well. They paint this picture of a child who is extremely stressed and frustrated. Naturally that upsets Momma!
So we figure out some things to do to help him. In the mean time today was
the big evaluation at SIUC. There Kristofer was taken into a classroom where Melanie one of the evaluators and three others worked with him. Actually the other three were taking notes. I was in an observation room watching and talking to Dr. Bordieri who asked me a bazillion questions, I swear. Every one at the Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders are great! They make you feel at ease and take time to listen to what you have to say. I truly believe God ordained this time for this moment at this facility.
So we went, were there for like 2 to 2 1/2 hours and then came home. We now have to wait for the next week as they decipher and score the results of the evaluation. The hardest part now is going to be the waiting.
For those that have gone through this process any advice or suggestions would be great! For those that haven't let me just share that this has been the longest 6 years of our lives. Yes 6 years because from the time Kristofer was born there was something different about him. Oh don't get me wrong please, he was a cheerful happy little guy as long as we were following his schedule. If we were not home on the dot to put him in his bed for naps and bedtime...he was a mess. There are so many things I could say here but won't go through it. But when you deal with a child that has special needs it is draining. What is worse is when family members think you are crazy and that there is nothing wrong with your child. "You need to discipline him more, be firmer, ect...You're just doing what a good mother should do" Yes I heard those things! From people who were suppose to be supporting me and their nephew! It hurts when you hear them say, that kid needs medicine, that kid is a brat, or I could never deal with that. Well let me tell you kid is not a brat! He is a joy to have and if he needs meds (which he doesn't right now) then we will do what needs to be done.
Honestly I am so emotionally spent this week I am not sure what I want. Yes I truly want to be told "No we don't think he is autistic!" BUT we need clarity as to why his behaviors mimic autism! Ok let's be honest, there is a part of me that would like to hear he is on the autism spectrum just so I could say, "I told you so to those people that have questioned my parenting skills!" But in my heart I do NOT want him to autistic. No parents stands up and says, "yes please I beg you give me an autistic child." NOT that autistic children are trouble or a curse. Because they are not! They are God's creation and there for created in His image and are perfect in His sight! There are not many people that will stand up and honestly say, they were overjoyed to get that diagnosis! I have two college roomates that have one or two children that are autistic and another that has a child with SPD. They are very strong advocates for their children. They have dealt with the sorrow of the dream of a certain life for their child and watched it be changed to something else. They have been strong and faced it head on and for that I am grateful because they have been the support I have needed...thank you Mike & Marty Short, Angie Young and Mary Fontelez! Little did we realize 14 years ago that not only would we become the best of friends but also friends that have special needs kids. What an adventure we have all been on!

For those that wonder if your child needs early intervention GO GET IT! FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD! I was told today by Dr Bodieri that the intervention Kristofer has received has given him a huge advantage over the child that hasn't received therapy or any kind. I know for sure had we not listened to our friends and pushed for therapy that Kristofer would not be the same little boy he is today!

He is such a trooper! He deals with so much all the time. He amazes me! He really does! Yes he wears me out, yes he drains me physically and emotionally when he has his outbursts, yes sometimes I get very aggrivated that he doesn't understand things that other kids his age do, yes it makes me fighting mad when other kids tease him and make fun of him or won't give him a chance! BUT this great kid of mine is my heart throb! He and I have a connection that is different from the other kids. I love them all equally and I would stand in the fire for each of them. But somehow Kris and I have a connection that he does not have with Sean and I do not have with the other kids. Call him my because they are all my favorite but...ok yes I have a connection with him that is special and unique and I am blessed to have this remarkable little boy as my son! I am proud to say KRISTOFER IS MY KID! I am proud of his accomplishment and I am excited when he meets a goal.
Everyone that knows our Kristofer can't help but love him. He is such a great kid! A little quirky at times but a great kid never the less!

Sep 18, 2008

Butterfly Tagging

This morning much to my joy I was able to go with the twins to their butterfly tagging field trip at Crab Orchard National Wildlife Refuge. I was excited because last year I was unable to attend most of the field trips with them due to my knee. But God is working a miracle in them. In fact I am now crutch and cane free! YEA! I still have pain occasionally and I still every so often need my cane but since returning from the Unstoppable Conference in Tampa Florida I have use the cane possibly 3 days out of the last 12 days! PRAISE GOD!
Anyhoo, Eli and Sara had a ball! Normally this program is only for 1st graders but this year they changed it a bit and allowed the pre-K groups through the public school system participated. We were able to catch monarch butterflies and a bunch of others like frittiliary and the sulfers. They mostly caught moths but we were able to catch a frittiliary and a sulfer. They tag the monarchs with very small stickers on the outside of their wings and are able to tract where and how far they travel. Most will head south towards Florida or Texas and Mexico. We had a great morning! Eli is exhausted and crashed when we got home!

Sep 17, 2008

The Immunity Manual

Ok so yesterday I was thinking about a few things and I shared with my good friend Michele over at An Adopted Families Life that I was going to blog about this but didn't. She said I really should so here goes...this is for you Michele. Actually it is just my rant for the day but that's ok too cause this is my blog and sometimes you just need to rant it out!
I have a few thoughts I have been pondering. Such as why are babies not sent home with instructions? And why aren't moms giving immunity to our children's illnesses after giving birth? I mean if you adopted a pet you can find every kind of manual you want. Now I know children are not pets although some people treat them as if they are possessions in stead of blessings, but that is a whole other blog. Yes there are a ton of parenting books out there that cover a million different subjects but honestly when you are in the middle of a battle with a strong willed child or a child with special needs who has time to look at chapter 4, third paragraph of book 1000?!
I mean honestly, no matter how much parenting classes you take or books you read sometimes you just have to to throw in the towel and say, "God HELP!" That is usually when I get some kind of revelation on how to deal with the situation or at least handle it differently the next time it may occur. Yesterday seemed to be the day I was asked by two different people in two different states, "How do you deal with ....?" Honestly I am NOT a know all of everything! Never have been never will be, I rely on God for every thing but I call my mommy all the time. "Hey Mom, how would you handle this, or hey mom what do I do when..., or hey Mom thanks for just listening...or Hey Mom, I know I never thought you knew anything when I was a teen but I sure do now and I really need your wisdom!" How many Moms out there can relate to those calls?

It doesn't matter if the child you love and care for came from 9 months of growing in your womb or in your heart (adoption). Sometimes we as moms need our Mommies and need our friends that are moms themselves to give us a different perspective, advice or wisdom! So thank you to all my friends but specially to my mom and grandmom for all the advice you have given me over the years! I am sure I will call again...Mommy help me be a better mom!

Oh and before I get a bunch of emails or comments...I know I have the best manual out there...the Bible and I do use it and quote scripture all the time. I rely on God more than anyone or anything! I am just ranting and saying my piece here!

Honestly the last few days I have really been battling a nasty cold. It started with a sore throat, then to stuffy sinuses to my chest hurting to now I have a dry scratchy throat and I can't stop coughing. Yesterday I coughed so much I thought I would cough up a lung...instead I peed my pants! Yes I said it I have reverted back to being a toddler! (lol!) Honestly it is an after effect of having so many babies and the last pregnancy being twins. But again that is another post! All you mom's out there probably can relate!
Anyway the manual. Actually this thought pattern started because I am sick. My wonderful loving diaper-heads (kids) lovingly passed on their yucky germs to Mom! SO yesterday as I was coughing up a lung and peeing my pants (lol) a thought went through my head and I even said it out loud, "God why on earth would you make us women endure nine months of pregnancy giving everything to our growing babies within and not give us super immunity to their illnesses?" I mean all we hear about is how when babies are born they have a small amount of immunity to illnesses and that breastfeeding adds to that. Oh don't get me wrong breast feeding is very important and although not everyone feels comfortable with it that is how God created our bodies. I did or at least tried to breast feed my babies. All four of them but unfortunately I never produced enough for any of them. So they always had bottle feedings as well. Ok maybe a bit TMI. All well.
My point is this I just want to know why God did not give us the ability to fight all infections for the first 10 years of our children's lives. That way when they are sick we are assured that we will not get it! That way mom doesn't get sick and feel run down and we can do what mom's do best without feeling yucky! I hate being sick but Mom's never get a break! We are always on duty even if we feel like a mack truck ran us over! There are times I hate being on duty! Even with a off duty magnet on the fridge I am the one who is always called on. "Hey Mom where is..., Mommy ----- is hitting me, Mommy help me, I'm hungry,' and then don't forget if you are married you get the, "honey where is..., honey can you..." Don't get me wrong I enjoy being a good mom and wife but when you are sick you are sick!

So who agrees with me, Mom's are entitled to at least 10 years of immunity to all the germs our kids bring home from school? Who agrees with me that sometimes you need an instant messenger when things are going a bit haywire and you need a quick answer on how to deal with a certain issue?