The Adventures of the Belly Button

Belly buttons are a strange little being on their own. They can be an inny or an outie, you can put a ring in them or you can use them to collect a variety of hair lint. :) LOL! But seriously what is up with the belly button? In our house we have been talking about belly buttons for a while. The reason being is because of little Ms Sara and her umbilical hernia. I wish I had taken a picture of it at it's worse presentation but I never did. You know how it is, a fleeting thought and then it's gone. Well at least that is what it was like for me :( which seems to be happening more and more. I think I am either scatter brained or just getting old...hmmm....maybe it's both! But let me tell ya something, after looking online at pictures of umbilical hernias, Sara's doesn't even compare! There are some gross pictures out there...go look for yourself because I am not about to post them here.
So the topic of the belly button has brought up a lot of questions here in this house:

* Why do we have a belly button?
* How come we have one and the puppy doesn't?
* Why do some have it sticking out (outie)?
* Why does mine go in (inny)?
* Why is mine broken (Sara)?

The best question that has been raised is "Did Adam and Eve have a belly button?"
Ok so how do you answer that one without a bunch more questions come tumbling out?! Like I said, there has been a lot of questions concerning the belly button! SO where am I going with all this...hmmm...well I could get all spiritual on ya, or I could just be honest and say I am just gonna share about Sara's surgery...which do you prefer? LOL! Seriously though with all the talk of the belly button I have told my kids it is how I know I helped give life to them and they will always know they are connected to me in a special way :) It's a small imprint that they are mine and I am theirs. Hmmm, God has imprints on me as well :) Thank you Lord for the belly button! As for the surgery....it went great! Sara was so brave, not a single tear before the surgery. Not a complaint when they wheeled her away! YAY GOD! We prayed for peace and happiness and that is exactly what we got. Coming out of surgery was interesting to say the least. Sara asked me if I was floating! It took her a while to come out of effects of the anesthesia, but once she was out she was ready to go home :) She has a small incision in the belly button that I thought was stitched closed until we removed the bandages yesterday. To my surprise there are none. She was feeling a lot better yesterday but over did it. The stitches inside are hurting naturally and she is walking bent over like a 80 yr old woman. Poor thing! I am hoping she is feeling a little better today. She and her brothers are still sleeping...thank goodness! I enjoy these quiet mornings before they diaperheads all wake up and the noise level in our house rises a few decibels!

Kentucky

My niece Anna stayed with us for most of June. She was with us for 3 weeks. The kids loved having her here. We took her to the zoo of which was her first time ever going to a zoo :)

We really enjoyed having her here with us and although it's nice to just be "us" again, we miss her. The zoo was fun. HOT HOT HOT but fun! Got some great photos...too many to post here but here are a few of our favorites...This past weekend the kids and I took Anna to KY to meet up with my parents, her dad and younger sister and brother. On Sat. my Mom and I took my 4 and my niece and nephew to Twin Knobs Recreation area at Cave Run Lake in Morehead, KY. It is a great lake and place to swim. It was the first time my niece and nephew have ever swam in a lake before. They really enjoyed it. My nephew Timmy even stated...I love the lake there are no alligators or sharks to eat us :). Remember he is from Florida so those are things he would most definitely think about.

Holding our Aunt Linda's pet chicken...Kris loves them and wants his own now.

Sara and Lexi...Lexi was a bit nervous but Sara was like an old pro holding this chicken.

Friendly little bats roosting in the rafters of my parents cabin!

The kids and I had a great time in KY! The kids love KY and ask every time we leave when God will move us there. I just keep telling them it's in God's hands. Right now He is using us in IL and until He opens the doors there and shuts doors here we will keep serving Him here.
I have to agree with them though. I too LOVE KY! A piece of my heart is buried there with our oldest son, SeanPatrick but I just love KY.
While there Sara became sick. You would never have known it the way she played but her stomach was in great pain. She has been dealing with stomach pain for some time now (2 yrs) and the doctor has repeatedly stated that the umbilical hernia has closed. Well this weekend is flared up and guess what IT'S NOT CLOSED!!! Poor thing! Her little belly button looked like a golf ball was sitting under the skin. We had to cut our trip short unfortunately but I wanted to get her home to see her doctor. At the advise of my sister n law we drove straight home from KY to the ER at home. The ER was a nice 3 hour visit-Sara & I got home at 4 am. UGH!
Ya know I really do not like ER doctors. They always seem to act like we are there to waste their time. That is how we were treated and I made sure to let that doctor know that my daughters health and welfare is of up most importance to me.
We were sent home and told to give her motrin or tylenol and see our family doctor. Xrays and lab work came back fine. But when we saw our family doc I was told that the bruising in the belly button was not a good sign :( and now we are off to see a surgeon next week.
UGH!!!! I would rather it be me than her in this pain. It breaks my heart to see her in such pain. I hope that the surgeon makes a good decision and fixes this hernia asap!

Florida knee to Storm

Ok strange title I know but after today's OS appointment I have decided to change the name of my left knee which I have been calling the Florida knee, it's new name is The Storm. Why you might ask?! Well lets just say the knee is a major mess! Today I went for my 2 week PO visit. I got pictures. A few anyway there were 4 sheets and I was able to get copies of two of the sheets. For some reason there weren't copies of the other two sheets. Which they aren't much different than the ones posted below.

So I went to the apt and it went better than I expected. I was suppose to see the PA that had asked me last week when I called for stronger pain meds, "how many prescriptions do you have?" Insinuating that I am a pill seeker and I am not! Far from it! I would rather wait till the pain is so bad that I have to take something. I just don't like taking pain meds. I was not looking forward to the appointment at all. But instead when the other PA, Kevin saw me, I heard him say, "I am taking the Kelly case!" YAY! He is just so great, down to earth and has a great bedside manner. He really takes the time to listen or at least he has with me. Plus he has been in both surgeries with my knees! So he says to me, "Well Melissa how are you?" Now I almost cried and I had to struggle not to. Tears really wouldn't have helped at that moment. So I held it together and said, "honestly Kevin I am in severe pain, more pain than I was in before the surgery and I am at the point that I am regretting having the surgery." So then I explained the pain levels on and off meds.

He told me he wasn't surprised about the pain. He went on to tell me he is completely surprised that I was even able to walk on the knee before the surgery. He said it basically looked like a cheese grater was let loose inside. He went on to explain they removed the torn pieces of the lateral and medial cartilage. There was also some shaving of the back of the knee cap, he said it looked terrible but I forgot to ask what grade of chondromalasia I was at. I had some foreign bodies, or pieces of bone that had chipped off floating around in there and those were removed as well.

In this picture the top is the torn cartilage and the bottom is the removal.

The white pieces are of the foreign body (bone chips).

In the above pictures, 3 of them are of the piping. The metal instrument resembles a straw. It is actually pushed into the bone and then removed. Causing blood to fill the area and hopefully will cause the area to regenerate itself. Of which I am very hopeful.

From what I saw in the pictures I commented that it looked like a total knee replacement was in my near future and Kevin said he really couldn't comment on it but from his experience my knee is in need of one. It doesn't surprise me that is what Dr. Morgan had said after seeing the MRI but it is VERY nerve raking ..... I am only 38 years old. Dr Morgan had talked to Sean after the surgery that I would be needing injections after the surgery. At that time Sean could not remember what type they were. Kevin explained there are two that my doctor uses, Hyalgan and another one that I can't remember the name of. It is a series of shots that cushion the knee and is suppose relieve the pain. I am going to continue with PT for another 5 weeks and I go back to see my OS in July to discuss the injections and my options.

I am a bit frustrated with this whole adventure! I know God has a plan and I am sure sometime in the future I will be able to look back on this and see how God was orchestrating everything. But right now in the midst of the knee storm, I am frustrated! I am still trusting God for healing, and I still trust Him for the outcome. My eyes have not left the King but I human and I am frustrated. I am also blessed! Before we moved to IL we had no insurance and I have to say I am completely grateful for the insurance I have. It has truly been a blessing to not have to worry about having the surgeries.

The pain from this surgery is intense! I can not walk without the pain meds and crutches. When I do walk through the house without the walker or crutches I am doing so in severe pain. In fact Kevin reminded me as well as my PT that I have had major surgery on this knee as well, just done with out a 6 inches incision and a bunch of staples. Sometimes without the big scar its hard to remember that.

Kids say the darndest things

Today when I was getting dressed Kristofer came in my room and climbed up on my bed. He said he wanted to rub my back. As he was rubbing my back he asked if it made my knee feel better. So sweet. Then he says as he is poking my back..."Mommy when I grow up will I have sprinkles on my back?" At first I was like huh? But then I realized he meant my freckles. I told him he might have some already so I checked and counted 8 little freckles. He was so cute. I told him he had them and he was so excited about it. He said really loud, " I have sprinkles on my back! YEA!"
My kiddos have been sick specially Sara and now Eli has a cold as well. Eli was being so pitiful. I asked him if I could help make him feel better. He said, so sweetly, " I want Deedee to come make me better!" It was just so pitiful. So we called Grandma Deedee and he told me he felt so much better just by listening to her voice and talking to her. Sometimes we want mommy, daddy or even better..our grandmas!
Then later tonight Sara and I were talking while she was drawing pictures. She said she was drawing pictures for her Aunt Nennie. Then she says to me, oh Nennie has a boy ... I said you mean Uncle Neil..He is her husband. She says, "oh yea, and pauses and then says why doesn't he have hair? It was so cute.


Update: Tomorrow marks my 4 weeks Post Op date. I am doing so much better. Over the weekend I was adjusting my leg to get comfortable and something popped. It didn't hurt but the next morning I had pain I haven't had in a while. I could figure it out but today I realized it had to have been the way the brace was laying against the outside of my leg when I was sleeping. It feels so much better. I am even seeing an improvement in my ability to stand when taking a shower without the brace on. It is still very wobbly but I can tell a difference in the strength. I am so hopeful that the doc will release me to start ROM and be more weight bearing. We shall see. I will post on Tuesday about what I am told after my appointment. The incision is looking really good. It is not the best closure. It looks like a terrible sewing or stapling job. Definitely not going to look pretty with shorts even a swimsuit. All well as long as I can walk without it giving out and not be in pain I will be so much happier.

Knees .... very important body part!

Did you ever think about how much your knees mean to your body? Your feet too but this is about my knees. With out them you have no ability to stand, sit, climb, walk or run! I know this cause for four long months I have been in pain and now after having a TTT (Fulkerson Procedure) done this past Monday Jan 21, I am in even more pain!

I am looking forward to my goal of mobility so I can go forward in my quest to loose the extra weight my knees do not need to have against them anymore. The surgery was successful and despite the pain (drugs are great!) I know eventually all this shall too pass.

I started this post a few days ago. I just haven't had the energy to complete it so hopefully I will tonight. For those that care, knee surgery like mine HURTS!!! I have spent the last 8 days in pain. Yes I have pain meds and yes I take them religiously but I always end up in pain. I am sure that soon that will change (I HOPE) but let me tell you something...

When you have an extremity hurting and your body doesn't and your head says I want to go do something other than lie here it is an emotional roller coaster!That is what I feel like I am on this past week. One minute I am fine, pain free and happy then next I am crying, in pain and frustrated.

I have had some good progress this week. I reach my one week post op and I no longer have "blood rushes". Blood rushes are when you stand after having your leg elevated for a while and all the blood literally rushes to the incision site. Oh man does it hurt. How to explain it...hmmm...ah I know. Think of when your foot falls asleep after sitting on it for a while. The pins and needles feeling you get well think of that feeling and multiply it like Niagara Falls! It is terrible. I can compare it to the worse contraction you can think of just before delivering a baby! It is so painful!

Thankfully that has dulled and seems to be almost gone. Thankfully! Now I have the aching of my bone where it was chipped and then had screws put in. I know this is all part of surgery so don't write and say you knew this. Cause honestly I didn't know I would have this kind of pain.

Not only am I dealing with pain from inside the leg but the outside is terrible as well. My skin 2-3 inches surrounding the incision is highly sensitive to touch. Which makes it difficult to have the brace on. It feels like a terrible sunburn I had once and had to wear a shirt on. Just plain hurts. Thankfully I can undue the straps on the brace to let my skin breath. My incision is doing well. It is 6 1/2 inches long and has 26 staples that will be coming out on Feb 4th. I am looking forward to that day!

Personally this has been life changing. I completely get that my weight problem is a MAJOR problem. It has effected my life in more ways than one. Although my knee problem is not due to my weight, it is due to mal-tracking patella, my weight does effect my knee and mobility. I have already taken steps to cut my calories and as soon as I am able I plan to get as active as I am able to. Right now I am following my PT's orders and doing what I can to strengthen my leg as well as my opposite leg. I am doing all I can physically to be active. It takes everything I have to just walk around my bed and get into the wheel chair in the hall. No one understand the energy I expend when doing this other than my PT. She fulls appreciates my efforts. She has pushed me to increase the exercises she has given me but let me tell you its not easy.

I am amazed at how much strength I lost in just an hour of surgery. The night before the surgery I was fully able to do 3 reps of 30 per each exercise, now I am working to just hit a 1 rep of 10. It is difficult but I know I will get there and beyond.

Last night was the first in many months that I was actually able to get a good nights sleep. Amazingly I was able to get comfortable and sleep. I would not go as far as saying I was pain free cause had it not been for my pain meds I probably would not of been able to sleep at all. But it was a good nights sleep. I felt good all day till I did my PT. Then the pain started in and was very uncomfortable. Ice packs are my best friend right now.

Oh and I can't go on any farther without saying THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!!! Without their help last week I wold never had been able to have the surgery! They once again went above and beyond what needed to be done. Our kids loved having them here! (I will post a picture of all of them tomorrow). Also a huge thankful goes out to my loving and wonderful husband! he has been so loving, gentle and caring despite me biting his head off and yelling at him. He understands that I am in a great deal of pain. He is so good with the kids! He is doing a great job of caring for me and the kids as well as staying on top of the house work. I love him more every day and I can't thank God enough for placing such a wonderful man in my life! Without him I would not be able to handle any of this! I love you Seany!

So I hope to stay on top of the blogging from now on. I will try to post how I am doing daily and how I have improved or not daily. Please keep me in your prayers if you are reading this but also keep Sean in prayer just as much!

One week and counting

Well the official count down has started. The kids are counting down the days till Granma Dee-Dee and Grampy Mac-Mac get here. I am counting down the days till the surgery. Honestly I never thought the last 6 weeks would fly by so fast! It was the week after Thanksgiving that we made the decision to go forward with the surgery and now we are a week away. Just seems so fast! There have been many days lately that I think maybe we should cancel the surgery or postpone it. But then I have days like I have had the last few days and realize I have to do this to get my life back! The last 4 days have been nothing but constant pain and my knee giving out on me. It's not a pleasant feeling when you can literally touch your knee cap and can feel it go back in place (or in my case back to where it started but not in place completely due to
mal-tracking).
I have been working hard at getting things organized and such for my mom and for Sean. Thankfully Mom has already been here once before after I had gall bladder surgery and she knows the basic routine of the house. Sean does to but it is usually me that says, ok Sean this has to be done or its time for this when it comes to the kids. Now I have posted up on my wall a Helping Hands chart so the kids as well as Sean knows what chores they are responsible for. I also have a chart with the usual activities for the afternoon such as homework starts at 4:30 and the bedtime routine. It should make the week my parents are here go smoother for Sean. This way he has something to look at instead of asking me. Specially since I will be in the hospital for a few days.
I think I have gotten everything ready. We have purchased the wood for the ramp my father will make so it is easier to get in the house, will be picking up the wheel chair on Sat, have a bunch of gel ice packs ready (been advised to have a bunch!), got a few puzzle books for me to do since tv is not that great during the day and I probably won't get much access to the computer. Trying to think ahead and stay ahead of the game. Should prove to be interesting that much I can say!
This week 4 years ago, I was in the hospital trying desperately to stop our twins from coming too soon. The little boogers just wanted to make sure they debuted much sooner than they needed to. Those days I wasn't counting down I was trying to keep counting forward in how many days they stayed in gestation. They made it to 33 weeks 4 days. It's amazing how much a day can make in the womb to a little preemie. I can't believe my "babies" are going to be 4 on Tuesday. My goodness the days go by so fast! It's hard to not think of them as my babies and then Eli will say things like, "I'm not a baby anymore Mom!" Normally it's "Mommy this and Mommy that" today it was "Mom (Eli -giggle) I can do it myself!" Once they were born then it became the count down to when we could bring them home. For us thankfully it was only 3 weeks later (the longest 3 weeks of my life!). They came home Feb 13...our Valentine's Day gifts!
Boy I remember so much from then, not much from the first year just the first weeks. But that is another blog I plan to do later in the week for their birthday. I can tell you that we plan to celebrate their birthday on Sunday, instead of their actually day the 22nd due to my surgery. So I will make sure to post pictures of them opening gifts and blowing out candles as well.
Good night all!

Thoughts on Surgery

Well I guess this says it all!

Actually this is as close as I could get to

what I will be looking like in two weeks.

In reality I have been on crutches for 4 months now,

since Aug 30, 2007 to be exact. It looks like I will

continue to be on crutches for at least another

10-12 weeks. UGH! Although the first 6-8 weeks I

will not be allowed to even put my toe down, which

should definitely make life interesting to say the least!

Let alone the pain I have been told to expect. Good

thing there are pain medicines in our world today!

So what have I learned so far about

my journey through knee pain...

1. Don't take your knees for granted.
2. Your knees are your mobility...the biggest part!

3. Sitting down and standing up is controlled by your knees!

4. Being over weight your whole life truly does affect

more than just yourself....it affects your family too!


Oh I am sure there are a lot more points I have learned

in the last 4 months and am about to learn in the next 4.

I am busy preparing my family and my house for

a huge change. God is definitely teaching me humility,

dependence on Him and others, and that I have no control

over anything. I can not control my environment and I can

not control the out come. What I can do is trust in the

Creator of the Universe and know that as long as I

live for Him and trust He knows what is best that I am

going to be fine. Peace comes from the Father above!

Yes I will be honest I am scared! Not really of the surgery,

but yes I'll admit it, what if I don't wake up...what if something

bad is found...what if the surgery doesn't help...what if....

I am nervous about the weeks following the surgery,

the pain, the rehab & the pain that comes with it.

I am nervous about how Sean will maintain our

household, work and still Pastor our church efficiently.

I am nervous about the kids and them not understanding

why Mommy can't get in bed "with them" or let them

sit on my lap, or that I can't give them their baths.

Well instead of concentrating on the "what ifs" I am going

to trust my judgement that I have been lead to and

I have chosen the best Doctor for this surgery and for me.

I am going to concentrate on getting better as soon as I can,

so I can start my new healthy life.

This has already changed my life!

I am going to concentrate this year on getting to a healthier weight

for my knees but mainly for my life. I want to be around when my

grandchildren are growing up. I truly do want to live my life

to its fullest and I have not done so in the last 37 years.

God is a God of mercy, grace, strength, and HE is my all in all!

Through Him I can and will accomplish my life goals,

be at a healthy weight and look fabulous!

I declare:

"This shall surely not be me in a year!"

PT...Physical Torture....

Just an example of some of the exercises!

PT is killing me! Ok, honestly this is what I know...I have prayed that God would help me lose weight and would help me be committed to exercising. SO what does He do, He lets me experience pain (gall bladder) that I have never in this world, had ever experienced before and never want to again! Wakes me up...I change my eating habits! Then what does He do? He allows me to not only find a mole trail a few weeks earlier but also a stupid gumball nut!

I am thankful that He did not let me injure myself more than I did but He allows this to happen. With the full intent to use it to "help" me get committed to exercising!

Now if I don't do the exercises 2xs a day I have a really high probability of having knee surgery. I DO NOT WANT SURGERY AGAIN! So, I am committed to exercising twice a day and have included workouts for my arms. I don't have to add anything for my stomach yet. At least 3 of the movements already include my stomach muscles. The PT has added 3 new exercises for me to add to the first 9. Plus I go to the "gym" and work out with my PT's help. Not only do I do the "now" 12 exercises but also have started riding a stationary bike. Right now it’s to just loosen up my knee 7-10 mins. But in 2 weeks I will be riding to gain more strength. Plus there are a few other exercises that we do at PT that I have been told not to do at home just yet. Which means when she does instruct me to do them at home I will have almost 15 and she says there are at least a total of 20 that I will be doing in total. She told me today that we will be adding weights to these exercises possibly next week...yea!

Here is what I also know...it is working! Each week she has to measure the strength and the joint movement/flexibility in my knee. Last week when we started I was in the negatives for the movement. Now I am in the 100's. Not sure what that means completely but from her reaction and smiles I know it is good. She said it was really good so what does she do...she increases my sets to 2 sets of 10 and for a few of the exercise moves increases them to 3 sets of 10. Gotta love it! I am seeing a difference in the stability and the time I am able to stand. Before last week I could only stand maybe 5 to a max of 10 minutes at a time. Now its at least 10 to 20 mins. Makes being a mom a lot easier! That's for sure.

I am still extremely sore and even more so on the days of PT. But there is purpose behind the pain and I have committed to continuing these exercises until I get to a healthy weight. If my knees benefit fantastic! Thank you God for using the measures, You see fit, to get my attention and "help" me like I asked!

From Golfballs to crutches

Today was my follow up with the surgeon today. I learned a few things. First of all God has been protecting me and kept me from serious injury. He also kept me from having a terrible infection! THANK YOU JESUS!
My gall bladder was holding two large stones. One was just over an inch and the other stone was 2.8 inches almost 3 inches in diameter! He said my gall bladder was in terrible shape and reiterated to me how amazed he was that I was not in more pain and more sick. He just kept saying how bad it looked and how enflamed it was. He also said the pressure it was putting on my liver was not good but I have NO damage to the liver. I told him it was due to God's healing power and all the people that were praying for me! Thank you for your prayers! I do feel so much better! I don't have the constant pain after eating now although my system is a mess. I am sure in time it will get better!
As for my knee...I was suppose to see the Orthopedic doc today but he had an emergency and had to cancel all appointments this week so I go to see him on the 16th. My knee is feeling better. The ligament pain is no longer there when I sit down or stand up! YEA! BUT I do still have pressure and pain insdie the knee. It feels like it is always ready to let go and it often times goes backwards on me. It is not pleasant and it hurts every time it does it. So keep praying for that!
God is a big God and He can do anything! Even heal my knee completely before I see the doc in 2 weeks!!

He cut you tummy, Mommy

It is sooo good to be home! I am so glad that my surgery went as planned. I have to tell you, if your doctor asks you if you want a happy shot say "YES!" It took the edge off of me as I went in for surgery. There are two things that hurt...my throat is super sore from the "soft" tube the anethesisologist put in for breathing and my tummy naturally. Thank you Jesus for being with me and healing me through my doctors hands!

When I got home the kids surrounded me, all except Kris. He seemed to be upset with me. Eli's first words were I want to see your cut! So once I was able to lie down I showed the kids. They were so funny! Eli said, "wow he cut you tummy Mommy and you didn't die!" Sara gave me a hug and wanted to kiss my booboos. Jaron wanted to know if it hurt when they cut me and said he was glad I didn't die and then got tears in his eyes. Kristofer later came in and laid down with me to watch a movie. I asked him why it took him 4 hours to come in and see me. He told me, "I don't every want you to go away like that again! I missed you and thought you died." When I showed him the incisions he said, "Cool, gross and does it ouch!?" He then said, "Ok Mommy I pray for you and put his hand on my tummy and prayed, " Jesus thank you that Mommy didn't die and make her boo boos get better so she can take me to Mc Donalds."

This surgery has been a life changing event. God created my body whole, healthy and perfect. Now, despite the fact that you can live with out the gall bladder I am no long whole and it is my fault for not taking better care of the only body He has blessed me with. Sean and I have already made changes to our diet with more to come. As soon as my knee is healed (and that might mean more surgery) then there will be more changes in our exercise life styles. I believe there are reasons for everything I think this is the biggest wake up call for me I have ever had. Guess surgery of any kind will do that too you....