Showing posts with label guest speaker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest speaker. Show all posts

Oct 21, 2009

A variety of things ...

Ok so again I have been super busy and to be quite honest just not in the mood to write. Sorta been over whelmed with activities, family things and just stuff with the kids. But I wanted to post this link



And give you all some great links to Pastor Deanna Shrodes site. She is continuing the "Just Say It" Series and I want you to read it. I meant to post what she had written last week but never got around to it. So instead I am going to give you links to each topic. Make sure you check them out, there is so great stuff there!

Just Say It Series :

Honoring Your Pastor
Before and After Church Bombardment
How to Help Your Pastor when they are Bombarded
People will be held Accountable for How They Treat the Pastor's Children

Deanna is continuing the series so keep checking her blog. I will try to keep links to them coming your way. For now I have a house that is screaming in pain because it needs to be cleaned! So I am off of her for now.



Oct 7, 2009

"Just Say It!!!" ~ Guest Speaker, Deanna Shrodes

Ok here goes - My dear friend Deanna Shrodes is starting a new series and it's great! I wanted to share it with you and so each posting on this series she will be doing I will be posting on my blog. She is a wonderful minister and friend. I hope you enjoy, are challenged and that your eyes are open and have ears to hear on this subject!
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"Just Say It!!"

Writing a series of posts on this topic has been on my heart for a while but I was just pushed over the proverbial edge last week to do something about it, so here goes. Recently we ministered at a wonderful church and the service went great and afterwards the pastors said to us, "Thank you so much for coming in and saying what we can't say." I hear that all the time when I preach at places. I hear it from America, to Africa, from small towns to large ones. Now, let me say I totally understand. This is how I lived for all of our years in ministry until we came to Florida. And I don't look down on people nor blame them for feeling that way or running the church that way. Pastors who wait for a guest speaker to come in and say what they evidently can't say are in abundance and are also in a very tough situation. Let me tell you, church people have NO IDEA what pastors go through. Did you know a survey was done of the most stressful jobs in America and pastor came in at #2. [The number one spot went to dentists. Evidently a lot of them even commit suicide or have breakdowns. The reason given was because most people hate going to the dentist and so they are used to people dreading coming to see them. Also, they are doing tedious work in a small space - people's mouths - all day long.] Over the coming weeks, I am going to do some posts about what your pastor wishes they could just bring out in the open and tell you, but some fear to. I want to share with you the ins and outs of what makes some of them very stressed out and what you can do to help them. In our previous pastorate, we would go through difficult situations of various kinds, just as all pastors do. A few times a year we would have a guest speaker and although we wouldn't tell them the problems beforehand or ask them to address certain things, Larry and I would pray out hearts out that the visiting minister would come in and "say what we couldn't say." (Translation: say what we would say if we didn't have the threat of World War III breaking out in the church, or being forced to resign because we simply laid the issues honestly on the table.) I remember at a previous pastorate how we prayed and fasted for a season, believing for God to speak to a guest evangelist to deal with some things that were current problems in the church. One lady had been giving us serious issues for some time. There were even times she would inappropriately interrupt the service. One time she had the gall to approach the pulpit when my husband was ministering and said, "The Lord has told me to take this service in a different direction." Of course he didn't put up with that and told her to sit down. She did but she would push the envelope constantly and it was so draining to deal with. We prayed that the evangelist would get a Word from God and deal with this lady. Lo and behold he called her out right there in the service and dealt with her! He gave her a word of knowledge and said, "you are out from under the authority of the pastors and have a critical spirit and need to submit to the pastors and he leadership of this church." We hadn't told the evangelist anything. This was a total God thing. And, the service where this happened the lady said NOTHING to show her true colors-- she was just quietly sitting in her seat. When all this was happening I was playing the keyboard in the background as he ministered and it was everything I could do to not show emotions as all this happened. I kept a poker face, and just stood there and played when the evangelist corrected her but afterwards when we went home, I jumped up and down and was leaping and praising God. So, why didn't I just deal with her? We were in a political hornet's nest. We feared for our ministry, our family, our livelihood. It's the place where way too many pastors find themselves. So, when I moved to Florida I said, "never again." I am NOT going go all year long with unaddressed situations, afraid to say it like it is, just praying that a guest comes in and "says something I can't." I thought, "I'll say it like it is plain and simple, and if they don't like it, I'll resign and go be a greeter at Walmart and hand out smiley stickers." Seriously. I am NOT kidding. And that's how I've lived for the last 7+ years! Occasionally we have speakers come in who will say things in our church here like, "Now, I'm telling you folks this...your pastor would probably like to tell you this but he/she can't do that..." and our people look puzzled as if to say, "what are you talking about? There's really not much if anything that our pastors would not dare to say." I do realize that many pastors are understandably afraid.. They aren't ready to pack their U-Haul and start passing out the smiley stickers and go on government assistance and then explain to their kids that they have no money for school clothes or supplies simply because Daddy or Mommy had to speak the truth about something in church. I get it...really I do. But I'm not afraid anymore and haven't been for a long time. So here's what's up. I'm writing a series of posts coming up..."what your pastor wants to say but can't." This is going to be so fun. Because a lot of people who are church folks across the nation and beyond read this blog and hopefully it will open some eyes as to what your pastor really thinks but might not ever dare to tell you. For those who wonder what my church people are going to think reading these posts, not to worry...they've heard all this already -- and more. And, they seem to want to keep me around for a really long time despite it. Or maybe even because of it...

Aug 14, 2009

Receiving the Love of God (guest blog)

Read this today and it really hit a cord with me. So much so that I decided that my readers needed to hear what was said as well.


Receiving The Love of God by Cassandra Stafford

My husband tells me I'm beautiful all the time.
I rarely believe him.

He admires me at the most peculiar moments.
While I'm still in my jammies...hair unbrushed...no makeup...while I'm sipping my coffee...

He's not admiring all of the undone...
He's not noticing my flaws...

He's noticing the blush of my cheeks.
My smooth skin (thank God for nice skin!!)
He's liking my dark brown eyes.

Me?
All I notice are my flaws.
In my mind, those things are enough to drown out the good. As if they cancel each other out.

He sees my curves and wants to hug me.
He hugs me tight and tells me I "feel good".
I --9 times out of 10--will respond with "yeah, good and huge!"
And he just sighs with disgust.

Why?
Cause I am not receiving his love for me when I always have some comeback to his praises.

So what if my body is not magazine cover quality? He and I both know it's not what it used to be. But does that mean it deserves to be ridiculed?

It goes deeper than outward beauty too.

Too many of us reject who we are.
We hate our personalities. We despise so much about how God crafted us and shaped us.
The clay tells the potter He has designed us all wrong...

But, what would happen if we took a bold leap of faith and started keeping our mouths (and minds) quiet when our husbands tell us we are lovely? What if we tried to believe it for once? What if when our children tell us we are "the best moms they ever had" (my girls favorite compliment) we didn't immediately start mentally recounting our every failing?

We could give a whole lot more love...to our husbands and children...
to our neighbors and friends...

Because we cannot give something we do not have. We cannot give love that we will not receive. We cannot offer peace we do not have.

And true peace, true love starts with receiving the love of God toward ourselves.

Despite our faults, shortcomings and imperfections.
What if--for once--we truly lived and acted like Jesus really did bring peace between God and us? What if, when He whispers to our hearts that He loves us...we swallowed hard and said "Yes Lord, I receive it. And, I love you too."

May 4, 2009

Marriage

Last week my friend Pastor Deanna Shrodes did a week long series on marriage and covered a variety topics. It was such a great series I thought I would give you links to each day over at her blog. This is NOT light reading, Pastor Deanna deals with a lot of deep stuff and confronts quite a bit as well. I encourage you to go over and read her marriage series (5 days in all), even if you have a strong marriage what she has to say will encourage you to go further. try to read these in order, they do build on each other!

Marriage Series
Friday's topic covers a broad range of sex in the marriage questions that her readers posed to her on her comments page and through private emails.
I totally agree with everything Pastor Deanna has to say. Her answers and topics are all Biblical based. Again go check it out. Sean and I have a very strong and steady marriage. Yes we get in fights, disagreements and spats. Yes we disagree on a variety of things but we are unified. We made a covenant before God, family and friends that we were committing our lives to each other through think and thin. It's not always been easy, there have been times when we both wanted to throw in the towel. But with God's help we stuck it out and have fought for each other, the marriage and the kids. Divorce is NOT the easy way out, ask anyone that has gone or is going through it right now. It's not easy and I am not talking financially here. I am talking about emotionally. Even with out children involved emotionally both parties are torn apart. I have watch and am watching some of my good friends go through this right now and they are struggling. Please if you are thinking about divorce seek help. Seek marriage counseling. Don't throw in the towel until you have done EVERYTHING you can to save it and that means letting go of hurt as well.
Go read the Marriage Series by Pastor Deanna Shrodes, YOU WILL BE BLESSED!

Feb 23, 2009

India Circus...guest writer

Wanted to share an awesome poem by my dear friend Jessica. You can catch more of her writing at: Simple Beauty
India Circus
by Jessica Smith

“Momma, look, don’t you see?
“The circus has come just for me.”
“Tommy dear, their in town,
for everyone that is around.”

Sitting in the brown wood seat,
The lights went dim, things hard to see.
“Ladies and gentlemen, time to start,
Get the animals, out from the cart.”

Horses and goats, came out first,
I took a sip from my Big Gulp.
Then came the lions, and little cubs.
Tommy swatted at the flying bugs.

Elephants and clowns danced in line,
as traipse artists flew just fine.
“Look up there, can you hear?
It’s a funny looking bear.”

Laughter rang across the crowd,
Smiles followed, cheers out loud.
“Now for one of our favorite few,
Baby Jim, it’s time for you.”

Limping down the metal ramp,
Baby Jim, was a grey elephant.
Six months old, no tusk yet.
His feet were cracked, torn and wet.

Whips lashed out on his back.
“Go on now Jim, get on track.”
Pushing him into the ring;
He cried out against the sting.
A tug was felt, as Tommy cried.
“Momma, stop them, they have him tied.”
Shoving spikes into the ground,
His little feet, felt the pound.
Rising in anger, I went down stairs.
“Sorry, Ma’am, stop right there.
No one’s allowed past this rope
Head back up, there’s no hope.”

“What do you mean, look at over there.
The trainer is hurting the little dear.”
“Yes Ma’am I know, but it won’t work.
This isn’t India, that’s the quirk.
“What do you mean? What’s to know?
“Lady, that’s enough, now on you go.”
With a wave, he shooed her off.
Instead she went in a lauf.

Grabbing the mic, people grew still.
“Elephants’ here are treated ill.
Stop this violence, stop it now.
Little Jim deserves better, this I vow.”
Suddenly, in a burst,
Little Jim took off his cuffs.
Stomping and swinging his gleeful tail;
Freedom had it’s final hail.

Dec 3, 2008

Guest Blogger:Deanna Shrodes

Today my dear friend and sista in Christ, Pastor Deanna Shrodes wrote a post on her blog, "Lifetime Intimate Portrait" titled,"You Raise Your Kids and Let Me Raise Mine..." It struck a cord with me in a mighty way. I have had many occasion where a stranger, acquaintance or even family has told me what I was doing wrong or needed to do differently as a parent with each of my kids...specially with my special little guy Kristofer, who is autistic. Well Pastor Deanna said everything I have wanted to say in a way that to the point! So sit back and enjoy this post!


You raise your kids and let me raise mine...

Recently I've experienced something I want to talk about here on the blog and just say it like it is and be done with it. I'm sick of people trying to insinuate how others should raise their kids. I'm not exactly new at this. I've raised one son to 19 years old who is a wonderful young man of God. No, he's not perfect but in my eyes he's darn close. :-) My point is, my children are not going to hell in a handbasket and I didn't start parenting yesterday. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but on the other hand I am not clueless. One thing that I reallllllly hate are holier than thou condescending attitudes when it comes to parenting. The spirit of slap wants to come upon me many times, I must confess.

I'll say first and foremost this isn't happening with anyone (that I know of!) in our church so it's one reason I'm just openly speaking my mind on this. If it were someone in our church Larry would have asked me to have some restraint. Who knows he might ask me to have some restraint after he reads this anyway? But lately I've had a few people question my choices as a parent and I have to admit it made me just a lih-tle uncomfortable!

Have you ever had someone condescendingly ask you why you are letting your kids watch certain TV shows or movies?Do you have others ask why you are feeding them certain foods without a lot of rules/restraint? (i.e., cookies, pizza, etc.)Are there those who ask why you are allowing them to have certain drinks without a lot of limits? (i.e. coffee, soda)Do people question why you are allowing them to participate in certain activities? (school prom, trick or treating, etc.) How about people asking why you allow them to have a cell phone, or to date?

I do not mind it when someone honestly asks my advice on a matter. It's fine to ask about our household policies or what I have personally found as wisdom for my particular children or family. But I don't believe we are cookie cutters -- I think what works for my child may not work for yours. God speaks to us personally about finding the key to our child's heart and raising each one. In the same way, what is acceptable for my family may not be acceptable for others, and that is fine. For instance, your son may have a very bad reaction to koolaid or soda...mine may not. So don't judge me if I allow mine to have it and I won't judge you that you don't allow yours to have it. Let's parent as the Lord leads us to and not make announcements or judgments about how we do it.

In the last month a few people have criticized me about what I allow my children to do, or what I do with them. There's a lady who works with my eldest son at the movie theater who is a member of another AG church. The other night she saw me come into the movie theater with my daughter. I was excited to come back from Africa and take her on a mom/daughter outing. This woman (who works in the concession stand there) told Dustin that she saw us come in and go to the movie and she felt it was very inappropriate that I was taking my daughter to this PG movie. She made a big deal about it and basically told Dustin she felt it was a sin what we were doing.

I know some Christians still don't believe in going to the movies. Well, I am not one of them. I am not going to criticize somebody else because they don't go, but please keep your comments to yourself that I do. I was raised in an atmosphere where we were never allowed to go to the movies and trust me, it did absolutely nothing for us as far as keeping us from sin. We were no more holy because we didn't go to theaters. In fact many of the kids I grew up with in the church ARE going to hell in a handbasket. It's unfortunate and actually tragic. What drove them away to this horrible backslidden state many are in? Maybe it was all these silly rules that were nothing but a bunch of legalism. I believe it's these sort of attitudes (being told that if Jesus came back while we were in a movie theater he wouldn't be able to find us...HOW STUPID!) that pushed people further away from God and the church than closer to them. I came to realize that Jesus can find us whether we are in a movie theatre, wearing pants or makeup, or drinking a cup of coffee. If somebody's Jesus isn't enough to find them through all that, they aren't serving the same powerful Jesus I am.All I can say to that is, I hope that lady definitely decides to stay in her other AG church, thank you very much! It really was none of her business, quite truthfully, what I was taking my daughter to see.

Two other people asked me about things of the same nature recently, with a very condescending attitude.Make no mistake, Jesus is coming back! He will find me no matter where I am because I am His child. He will take me to heaven whether I am in church, in a movie theater, or cooking supper. If He holds off a little longer on coming back, I really cannot wait to see what some people's kids turn out to be like. Will all this super protection and forsaking of soda and movies with any kind of "worldly" theme (in some people's eyes) produce perfect children? In my experience, people with very rigid rules for the sake of rules tend to produce kids who are kind of unbalanced later in life and can sometimes really go bonkers. In fact, it's interesting Dustin just told me today that the son of the lady he works with absolutely hates her. And he said, "you know Mom, I think if she were my Mom I would struggle with that too." Interesting. One thing I have always heard is, "rules without relationship lead to rebellion." I also believe rules without a sensible reason lead to rebellion.

When I was a child, I loved coffee and sometimes at church fellowships I would try to sneak a cup. The adults never let us kids drink it because they said it would "stunt our growth." Coffee drinking by kids was strictly forbidden, like it was whiskey or something. I now know that's a load of bunk. Savanna has been drinking coffee with me for YEARS. In fact her Grandpa Shrodes got her started on it when she was just a baby. If you have ever seen my daughter in person you know she is tall. She has been the tallest child in her class every year and no one can ever believe she's is as young as she is when I tell them. So much for stunted growth. No, she does not drink coffee all the time, usually just here and there on special occasions, but we do not make a big deal of it because I believe there is no reason to.

My philosophy as a parent is that when I can say yes, I do -- because we do have to say no to enough things -- why not say yes to things when we can?As far as my eldest "child" - he is now the age his father was when we got married. He is a young adult - not a child anymore. He chooses his diet and his movies himself and I trust him to do so. My middle son is not far behind...he'll be 18 in three more months. And Savanna...well, she's eleven and I'm just sayin' to all the condescenders out there...you raise your kids, let me raise mine. Do me a favor and don't ask me with that snooty attitude why we are going to a certain movie or buying our 11 year old a latte.

If my kids are going to hate me, I want it to be because I said no to things that really mattered. I refuse to make a mountain out of a molehill with my kids and make an issue out of things that are small in light of eternity.

I think people have too much time on their hands. I have way too much to do to worry about what other people are feeding their kids or what movies they let them watch. My own household is all I can handle and it keeps me busy enough.

Deanna Shrodes

Me Again-Deanna you are such a great friend. Thank you for being so candid and honest!