My Amazing little Girl!

Jaron the fearless bike riding teacher!

There she goes...faster than a speeding bullet...or bike rider...LOL!

My favorite time of day...snuggle time!
Gotta show that ferocious side ya know! GRRRRR!

Jaron the Teacher

Yesterday afterschool the kids were playing out side. Nothing new there but as I looked out the window to check on them I saw Jaron and Sara with a bike. Not just a bike but one without training wheels and Sara was on it! Honestly I was shocked but knew this day was coming! My little girl is growing up fast. She loves her big brother and enjoys tormenting him just as much. Jaron was teaching her how to ride the bike and he was a great teacher and she was a great student.
Much to my surprise she mastered it. Two or three tries and she was off. Riding like a pro! Now don't write me and tell me I am a bad mom because I happen to allow my kids to ride bikes without shoes or helmets. Ya know I understand how important helmets can be. We just haven't purchased new ones that fit. Needless to say she has mastered the bike. Soon I am sure Eli and Kris will master it as well.

Guest Blogger:Deanna Shrodes

Today my dear friend and sista in Christ, Pastor Deanna Shrodes wrote a post on her blog, "Lifetime Intimate Portrait" titled,"You Raise Your Kids and Let Me Raise Mine..." It struck a cord with me in a mighty way. I have had many occasion where a stranger, acquaintance or even family has told me what I was doing wrong or needed to do differently as a parent with each of my kids...specially with my special little guy Kristofer, who is autistic. Well Pastor Deanna said everything I have wanted to say in a way that to the point! So sit back and enjoy this post!


You raise your kids and let me raise mine...

Recently I've experienced something I want to talk about here on the blog and just say it like it is and be done with it. I'm sick of people trying to insinuate how others should raise their kids. I'm not exactly new at this. I've raised one son to 19 years old who is a wonderful young man of God. No, he's not perfect but in my eyes he's darn close. :-) My point is, my children are not going to hell in a handbasket and I didn't start parenting yesterday. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but on the other hand I am not clueless. One thing that I reallllllly hate are holier than thou condescending attitudes when it comes to parenting. The spirit of slap wants to come upon me many times, I must confess.

I'll say first and foremost this isn't happening with anyone (that I know of!) in our church so it's one reason I'm just openly speaking my mind on this. If it were someone in our church Larry would have asked me to have some restraint. Who knows he might ask me to have some restraint after he reads this anyway? But lately I've had a few people question my choices as a parent and I have to admit it made me just a lih-tle uncomfortable!

Have you ever had someone condescendingly ask you why you are letting your kids watch certain TV shows or movies?Do you have others ask why you are feeding them certain foods without a lot of rules/restraint? (i.e., cookies, pizza, etc.)Are there those who ask why you are allowing them to have certain drinks without a lot of limits? (i.e. coffee, soda)Do people question why you are allowing them to participate in certain activities? (school prom, trick or treating, etc.) How about people asking why you allow them to have a cell phone, or to date?

I do not mind it when someone honestly asks my advice on a matter. It's fine to ask about our household policies or what I have personally found as wisdom for my particular children or family. But I don't believe we are cookie cutters -- I think what works for my child may not work for yours. God speaks to us personally about finding the key to our child's heart and raising each one. In the same way, what is acceptable for my family may not be acceptable for others, and that is fine. For instance, your son may have a very bad reaction to koolaid or soda...mine may not. So don't judge me if I allow mine to have it and I won't judge you that you don't allow yours to have it. Let's parent as the Lord leads us to and not make announcements or judgments about how we do it.

In the last month a few people have criticized me about what I allow my children to do, or what I do with them. There's a lady who works with my eldest son at the movie theater who is a member of another AG church. The other night she saw me come into the movie theater with my daughter. I was excited to come back from Africa and take her on a mom/daughter outing. This woman (who works in the concession stand there) told Dustin that she saw us come in and go to the movie and she felt it was very inappropriate that I was taking my daughter to this PG movie. She made a big deal about it and basically told Dustin she felt it was a sin what we were doing.

I know some Christians still don't believe in going to the movies. Well, I am not one of them. I am not going to criticize somebody else because they don't go, but please keep your comments to yourself that I do. I was raised in an atmosphere where we were never allowed to go to the movies and trust me, it did absolutely nothing for us as far as keeping us from sin. We were no more holy because we didn't go to theaters. In fact many of the kids I grew up with in the church ARE going to hell in a handbasket. It's unfortunate and actually tragic. What drove them away to this horrible backslidden state many are in? Maybe it was all these silly rules that were nothing but a bunch of legalism. I believe it's these sort of attitudes (being told that if Jesus came back while we were in a movie theater he wouldn't be able to find us...HOW STUPID!) that pushed people further away from God and the church than closer to them. I came to realize that Jesus can find us whether we are in a movie theatre, wearing pants or makeup, or drinking a cup of coffee. If somebody's Jesus isn't enough to find them through all that, they aren't serving the same powerful Jesus I am.All I can say to that is, I hope that lady definitely decides to stay in her other AG church, thank you very much! It really was none of her business, quite truthfully, what I was taking my daughter to see.

Two other people asked me about things of the same nature recently, with a very condescending attitude.Make no mistake, Jesus is coming back! He will find me no matter where I am because I am His child. He will take me to heaven whether I am in church, in a movie theater, or cooking supper. If He holds off a little longer on coming back, I really cannot wait to see what some people's kids turn out to be like. Will all this super protection and forsaking of soda and movies with any kind of "worldly" theme (in some people's eyes) produce perfect children? In my experience, people with very rigid rules for the sake of rules tend to produce kids who are kind of unbalanced later in life and can sometimes really go bonkers. In fact, it's interesting Dustin just told me today that the son of the lady he works with absolutely hates her. And he said, "you know Mom, I think if she were my Mom I would struggle with that too." Interesting. One thing I have always heard is, "rules without relationship lead to rebellion." I also believe rules without a sensible reason lead to rebellion.

When I was a child, I loved coffee and sometimes at church fellowships I would try to sneak a cup. The adults never let us kids drink it because they said it would "stunt our growth." Coffee drinking by kids was strictly forbidden, like it was whiskey or something. I now know that's a load of bunk. Savanna has been drinking coffee with me for YEARS. In fact her Grandpa Shrodes got her started on it when she was just a baby. If you have ever seen my daughter in person you know she is tall. She has been the tallest child in her class every year and no one can ever believe she's is as young as she is when I tell them. So much for stunted growth. No, she does not drink coffee all the time, usually just here and there on special occasions, but we do not make a big deal of it because I believe there is no reason to.

My philosophy as a parent is that when I can say yes, I do -- because we do have to say no to enough things -- why not say yes to things when we can?As far as my eldest "child" - he is now the age his father was when we got married. He is a young adult - not a child anymore. He chooses his diet and his movies himself and I trust him to do so. My middle son is not far behind...he'll be 18 in three more months. And Savanna...well, she's eleven and I'm just sayin' to all the condescenders out there...you raise your kids, let me raise mine. Do me a favor and don't ask me with that snooty attitude why we are going to a certain movie or buying our 11 year old a latte.

If my kids are going to hate me, I want it to be because I said no to things that really mattered. I refuse to make a mountain out of a molehill with my kids and make an issue out of things that are small in light of eternity.

I think people have too much time on their hands. I have way too much to do to worry about what other people are feeding their kids or what movies they let them watch. My own household is all I can handle and it keeps me busy enough.

Deanna Shrodes

Me Again-Deanna you are such a great friend. Thank you for being so candid and honest!

New Life!

Spring brings much more than April showers (or earthquakes) or May flowers to our home today. We have a neighbor's cat, Taz who is a beautiful long hair grey and white cat. He is gorgeous and I think he thinks he lives here. We open a door and he runs in. We probably haven't helped that much because we do feed him. Which the neighbor doesn't seem to mind. Needless to say Taz has a sister that is also grey and white but is short haired. Snowbell is very pregnant and today she came over to visit and look for food. I was enjoying our beautiful weather and sitting on the porch in the warm spring sun when she came and layed down next to me.

This was remarkable to me because Snowbell is sorta skittish with strangers. The kids were all riding their bikes and eventually ended up on the porch with me. As I was petting Snowbell I realized there was a wet spot that hadn't been there before. I thought it was odd and made a joke with the kids that Snowbell had peed herself. But as I was petting her I realized immediately that she had not peed herself but was in labor! I lifted her tail to see a tiny foot and a small tail emerging. I got the kids to all sit and quiet down. Sara, Jaron, a neighbor girl, and I watched as Snowbell had her first baby right on our porch.

This is not the baby!

I have seen it before but the kids hadn't. Sara was in awe, "Oh Mommy, she says, "Look how cute!" Then it was "oh gross what is Snowbell eating, ewe she pooped the baby out!" Kris was so excited he was coming unglued. Then he saw blood on the kittens two feet and he just about freaked, "Snowbell is eating the baby!" I calmly explained what was going on. They watched at Snowbell cleaned the kitten off and listened to it meow for the first time. The looks on our children's faces were priceless. They were smiling from ear to ear with big eyes all glued on that baby.

Once Snowbell had cleaned that baby off it was time to scatter. She picked that baby up and immediately the kids thought she was going to hurt it and eat it. ( Neighbor dog had puppies and killed a couple) But she was so gentle as she positioned that kitten in her mouth and ran home. I am sure she had at least another 3-4 babies earlier this evening. We made sure to let our friend know that Snowbell had started having babies. She was as surprised that she had the first one on our porch as much as we were. She told Jaron she would check on her in the shed. That is where she had been nesting I guess.

On our porch spring brought new life all to the amazement of our children. What a glorious way to end the day!

PT...Physical Torture....

Just an example of some of the exercises!

PT is killing me! Ok, honestly this is what I know...I have prayed that God would help me lose weight and would help me be committed to exercising. SO what does He do, He lets me experience pain (gall bladder) that I have never in this world, had ever experienced before and never want to again! Wakes me up...I change my eating habits! Then what does He do? He allows me to not only find a mole trail a few weeks earlier but also a stupid gumball nut!

I am thankful that He did not let me injure myself more than I did but He allows this to happen. With the full intent to use it to "help" me get committed to exercising!

Now if I don't do the exercises 2xs a day I have a really high probability of having knee surgery. I DO NOT WANT SURGERY AGAIN! So, I am committed to exercising twice a day and have included workouts for my arms. I don't have to add anything for my stomach yet. At least 3 of the movements already include my stomach muscles. The PT has added 3 new exercises for me to add to the first 9. Plus I go to the "gym" and work out with my PT's help. Not only do I do the "now" 12 exercises but also have started riding a stationary bike. Right now it’s to just loosen up my knee 7-10 mins. But in 2 weeks I will be riding to gain more strength. Plus there are a few other exercises that we do at PT that I have been told not to do at home just yet. Which means when she does instruct me to do them at home I will have almost 15 and she says there are at least a total of 20 that I will be doing in total. She told me today that we will be adding weights to these exercises possibly next week...yea!

Here is what I also know...it is working! Each week she has to measure the strength and the joint movement/flexibility in my knee. Last week when we started I was in the negatives for the movement. Now I am in the 100's. Not sure what that means completely but from her reaction and smiles I know it is good. She said it was really good so what does she do...she increases my sets to 2 sets of 10 and for a few of the exercise moves increases them to 3 sets of 10. Gotta love it! I am seeing a difference in the stability and the time I am able to stand. Before last week I could only stand maybe 5 to a max of 10 minutes at a time. Now its at least 10 to 20 mins. Makes being a mom a lot easier! That's for sure.

I am still extremely sore and even more so on the days of PT. But there is purpose behind the pain and I have committed to continuing these exercises until I get to a healthy weight. If my knees benefit fantastic! Thank you God for using the measures, You see fit, to get my attention and "help" me like I asked!

SID

Sensory Integration Disorder....that was the diagnosis just 2 years ago.
Had I known how our lives were about to change for the better I would have pushed for evaluations much sooner. Had it not been for our close friends, Mike and Marty I may never had even pushed for the evaluations.
So what does living with a child that has SID look like....well it depends on each child and family. The spectrum for SID is very wide just like autism. Each child deals with sensory experiences differently.
For Kristofer it varies from day to day and moment to moment. We have some days like Thursday that he is off the wall wild. Nonstop activity. Constantly jumping, climbing, running into people, pacing, humming, screaming just to scream and then screaming because everything is too loud, screaming because everyone is too close to him or they are touching him. Then the very next moment he is crying cause he can't get close enough to me...so I cradle him as he nestles into my arms with his face pressed into my neck. Occasionally I have to cradle him like I use to when he was a baby breast feeding. It gets harder to hold him like a swaddled baby with his legs hanging off the other side of the chair. Days like this day it is hard to bathe him. He hates his hair washed and screams the whole time..."it hurts...you're killing me!" On days like this one all he wants to do is eat. Great you might think but all he eats on any given day is apples, Tyson chicken crispy strips, hard sliced cheese, and right now his favorite is Doritos. Nothing else! No soft foods at all and definitely no veggies! Just fruit, chicken and cheese usually! oh and a must is chocolate milk.
Then we have days like yesterday. Days it takes everything we have to get him to pay attention, stay in the moment and come out of his little world. He gets immersed in his world, plays quietly (meaning not constantly moving) and doesn't want to be disturbed. He will play for hours at one thing; usually with his dinosaurs or with his legos. He lays around, wants to just watch TV or a movie and is at peace or should I say we are at peace because he is quiet (not constantly moving). On days like yesterday we have to repeat his name many times at varying levels of volume to get his attention. Usually we have to touch his shoulder or even tickle him to get his attention. On days like this we can bathe him and wash his hair without too much argument and on days like this he barely eats. Just wants "chocolate milk and that is all."
When he is at school I am not sure how he is acting. His teacher has not complained of nonstop activity but when he comes home he is a wild man. Guess I should be thankful that he is not a wild man at school. The biggest problem is that he has once again lost 5 lbs. He is not very heavy as it is. He is at a very healthy weight according to his doctor but he doesn't need to loose weight either. So when he is on the starving to death mode we feed him as much as his tummy wants. Right now we may have to increase his calories again with Carnation Breakfast drinks instead of just choc. milk. Anything to get him the extra calories his growing body needs.
So when it comes to SID everyday presents a different challenge at home and more than likely at school too. He receives OT, Speech and has Resource help. He seems to be learning alot and he is very smart. Once he sees it and hears it he knows it. Somethings take a bit longer to learn but he pretty much gets it quickly. Kristofer is such a blessing to our family. There are times when he completely wears us out...us meaning all of us including his sibs. But without him our family is not complete. God blessed us when He gave us Kristofer and although I wish things were easier for him I could never imagine my life without him in it!

Good news!

Today I got a call from Kristofer's OT, Jennifer. She wanted to let me know that Kris has not been receiving individual therapy due to not have the prescription from the doctor's office yet. Isn't that nice! I called the doctors office twice in within the last month. Both times being told they did send it out. Well Jennifer and I both agreed that if she doesn't get it by Friday she would call me. All I have to say is the doctor's secretaries (they have 3) had better get it done this time!
Needless to say though Kris has been benefiting from group therapy in the class because another child recieves therapy. She told me Kris is doing well. She has seen a few things other than his fine motor skills that he needs to work on though. But over all he seems to be adjusting. I shared a bit about what he does at home and how or what we do to help him get what he needs. She was very encouraged about that. She wants to talk with me at lesat once every two weeks to let me know what is going on in school and so she knows what is going on at home.
Thank you God for placing an OT in Kristofer's life that cares about him both at school and at home! YEA! That is great news! Also from the way she talked she thinks he will probably continue to recieve OT till at least 3rd grade but it depends on how he improves this year and next. I am so happy that we have a system here that does help! I know it is God moving on his behalf and I also know it's because we push every button and knock on every door to get him what he needs!
Just like I told my friend Michele, God knows what kind of Mom our kids need that is why He gave them to us! Thank you God for Kristofer and having the confidence in me to do what is best for him!

Ponies and robots

This week has been a great week for the kids. They have really enjoyed having Granma Dede here to play with them and take care of them. Today Sara created a big pony party and the boys created their robot houses outside. Enjoy the pictures!

Troubles and worms in the pockets

Well, the 2nd week of school is over. The twins had a great time this week in pre-K. Jaron has realized that 2nd grade is going to be harder than 1st grade, lots more homework. Kristofer has started therapy; OT, Speech and he has resource daily. I talked to the teach at length yesterday after sending in a letter. What I really wanted to know was if he has started the therapies or if she knew what was going on concerning that. But what I found out is that Kristofer is having a bit of trouble in class. Nothing huge when it comes to bad behavior thankfully! But he has a difficult time concentrating on the task at hand, this is something I am completely aware of. Honestly if he doesn't have someone to help him stay on task he forgets what he is suppose to be doing. I had suggested an aide for him during the IEP meeting and they didn't think that was necessary. I may have to push for it if things don't change. Ms Roberson wants to give it a few more weeks before we go that route. Right now she has the speech therapist, OT and resource aide coming in daily to help Kris and another student so she doesn't need the aide. We'll see though. In the mean time I am going to find out what Kris' rights are concerning and aide in the class.

The teacher has moved him away from her desk hoping that in the new area-which is less congested-he will be able to feel more comfortable and be able to concentrate more. She has said that as long as she or the resource aide is there keeping him on task he does well. But as soon as they walk away he stops what he is doing and starts daydreaming or goes into his own little world. He is always thinking about stuff. It's hard to know how to help him.

He is also taking things. Stealing is how the teacher put

it but I don't believe he realizes that what he is doing is wrong. He knows better than to take things that do not belong to himself. He has been sticking small items, such as counting blocks, push pins, small objects into his pockets. Now his class is aware of it and they immediately tell Ms Robertson. What I think is really funny is that she told me that the other day Kris was messing with his pockets and she thought he had taken something so she asked him to take it out of his pockets. SURPRISE!! WORMS-2 long slimy earth worms in his pockets. That's my boy!! She said it was the first time she has had a student put worms in his pockets! Kris asks me all the time if he can have pet worms! This doesn't surprise me one bit!

Ms Robertson is such a sweet heart. She understands that Kris has some issues and she is doing her best to help him. She has two special needs kids in her class this year. She hasn't had special needs in her class in over 5 years.

I am completely dumbfounded as to why he is taking things. What was I suppose to say, other than sorry. We have talked to Kris about the issue of bringing things home from church and school before. For some reason he gets it in his head if he plays with something that it becomes his.

Any suggestions as to why???

Ugh! I hope things get better and not worse!

I mean its not terribly bad just a little concerning...

Living with SID

SID - Sensory Integration Disorder....That is what Kristofer lives with day in and day out. There is never a day that he doesn't experience something more than his body can handle. To put it plainly, he experiences all of his 7 senses at one time. His brain is still learning how to tune out the hum of the lights and the ceiling fan so that he can concentrate on what I may be saying to him.

Some days he is fine, small things will bother him but not enough to set him off into a "melt down". Other days everything sets him off and its as if the whole world is attacking him. It's on those days that I have to really pray for guidance and ask the Lord to help me figure out how to help him feel safe. Today, actually this afternoon was one of those "the world is attacking me" days. It is never just one thing that sets him into orbit so figuring out what it is rather difficult. Sometimes he can tell me what is hurting him, most of the time its the feeling of the clothes on his skin. He has come a long way with that!

He went most of his life without clothing on unless he had to be dressed for church or public outing. I use to put his shorts on and bring his shirt, socks and shoes with me and dress him before entering church or the store. If I did dress him he would somehow get everything off while strapped in his car seat.

Today he couldn't tell me what was hurting him or bothering him. One minute he was screaming the next he was crying. So I start by turning the TV off, then the fan, pull the blinds down and find him a blanket. The other kids were playing in their rooms so that helped with noise. Kristofer helped me make a tent with the chairs and the blanket and he hid inside for about 20 minutes. By the time he came out I had the home made play dough cooling for him to play with.

When he came out of his "safe place" he asked for his favorite drink "choc. milk" but we had no choc. so he settled for pink (strawberry) milk. He then sat at the table quietly playing with the play dough until I turned the ceiling fan on...then he started screaming again. I turned it off and he said, "Thank you Mommy, the wind hurts me." It's so hot outside and it's not the coolest inside so I thought the cool breeze from the fan would help him but I was wrong.

Some days he spends a lot of time jumping on the furniture or running into me or his brothers. It's on those days that I get his exercise trampoline out and let him jump. Sometimes we set up an obstacle course for him and his sibs or we head to the playground.

We never know what the day will bring for Kristofer. We learn daily with him and for him.

Today was worn me out...they usually do when Kris does alot of crying....